A man asked his wife what she’d like for her 40th birthday.
I’d love to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow!Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down.
Right to a McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.Then, it was off to a movie – the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure!
Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being six again?”
Wearily, she raised her head, and said;
“You idiot, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of this story is:
When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.
Enjoyed this joke ? Here are 20 more jokes like this.
Grandma’s New Gadget
Grandma finally got a smartphone for her 80th birthday. She spent hours poking around the apps, marveling at how she could read the news and play solitaire on the same device. One day, she proudly announced, “I just used that ‘Finder’ app you talked about to find my phone. It beeped at me from under the couch!” Confused, her grandson said, “Grandma, you don’t have the ‘Find My Phone’ app. What did you actually press?” She shrugged. “I just called the phone from my landline until I heard it ring!” Turns out, she’d invented her own “finder” app—just the old-fashioned way.
The Mysterious Chef
A man boasted to his friends that his wife was a gourmet chef who could whip up any cuisine in minutes. One evening, he came home to a feast that smelled absolutely heavenly. He found her in the kitchen with pots and pans everywhere. “Wow, you really went all out,” he said. She gave him a sweet smile and replied, “Yes, I tried four new recipes tonight!” Curious, he asked, “What are they?” She sighed, “I have no idea. I just tossed the cookbooks aside when I realized they were in French. So… we’re calling it ‘International Surprise.’” Turns out, the meal was delicious—but she couldn’t replicate it to save her life.
The Overenthusiastic Fitness Tracker
Sarah wore her new fitness tracker to bed, determined to measure every step, heartbeat, and calorie burned. She woke up the next morning, checked her data, and nearly screamed. It said she had taken 8,000 steps during the night! Worried she might be sleepwalking, she set up a camera. The next night, the same thing happened, but the footage showed her cat batting at her arm and swiping the tracker around while Sarah snored. The next day, Sarah told everyone, “My cat is the most active member of this household—and apparently, he logs better ‘steps’ than I do!”
The Wrong Gift Card
Mark was notorious for last-minute gifts. On his wife’s birthday, he grabbed a gift card from the junk drawer, put it in a fancy envelope, and handed it to her with a flourish. She opened it and blinked. “Honey, why did you give me a gift card for the local pet store? We don’t even have a pet!” He smacked his forehead. “That’s weird—I thought it was the spa voucher.” Turns out the dog groomer’s store logo looked suspiciously like the day spa’s. She decided to keep it anyway, joking that maybe she’d get her hair done at the dog groomer’s if times got tough.
Little Sister’s Math Genius
A father was proud of his teenage daughter for always acing her math tests. He bragged about how she could do advanced algebra in her head. One day, he asked her to calculate the tip at a restaurant. She stared at the check for a full minute, then said, “I don’t know how to do that without a formula.” Confused, he said, “Just do ten percent times two, roughly!” She frowned. “Dad, I only know how to do polynomials and quadratics. Tipping is… complicated.” She ended up rounding the number, paying five dollars extra. “Algebra is easy,” she quipped, “Real life is harder.”
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