My in-laws had a habit everyone in the family knew about but pretended not to see. They were wealthy, polished, and always dressed like they’d stepped out of a magazine — but when the restaurant bill arrived, they suddenly became helpless. Forgotten wallets. Lost purses. “Oh no, I must’ve left my card in the other coat.” It was their signature move. They’d order the most expensive dishes on the menu, enjoy every bite, and then vanish behind a wall of excuses. Someone else always paid.
Over the years, I’d watched this routine play out at steakhouses, brunch spots, holiday gatherings — you name it. They’d never pull the stunt with actual friends, of course. Only family. People too polite to call them out, too embarrassed to cause a scene.
My husband hated the habit as much as I did, but his parents had been this way his entire life. He once told me, “They’ve never paid for a meal they didn’t host themselves.” At first I thought he was exaggerating — but no. They genuinely lived by that rule.
So when my in-laws invited my mother to an upscale Italian restaurant for her birthday — while my husband and I were out of town — I had a bad feeling. Not because my mom wasn’t capable of handling them, but because she was the embodiment of grace and generosity. She grew up with very little, worked as a schoolteacher for more than thirty years, and believed deeply in kindness. She’d give away her last dollar if someone needed it.
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