A man asked his wife what she\u2019d like for her 40th birthday.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d love to be six again,\u201d she replied.<\/p>\n
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.<\/p>\n
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow!Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down.<\/p>\n
Right to a McDonald\u2019s they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.Then, it was off to a movie \u2013 the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure!<\/p>\n
Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.<\/p>\n
He leaned over and lovingly asked, \u201cWell, dear, what was it like being six again?\u201d<\/p>\n
Wearily, she raised her head, and said;<\/p>\n
\u201cYou idiot, I meant my dress size.\u201d<\/p>\n
The moral of this story is:<\/p>\n
When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.<\/p>\n
Enjoyed this joke ? Here are 20 more jokes like this.<\/p>\n
Grandma\u2019s New Gadget
\nGrandma finally got a smartphone for her 80th birthday. She spent hours poking around the apps, marveling at how she could read the news and play solitaire on the same device. One day, she proudly announced, \u201cI just used that \u2018Finder\u2019 app you talked about to find my phone. It beeped at me from under the couch!\u201d Confused, her grandson said, \u201cGrandma, you don\u2019t have the \u2018Find My Phone\u2019 app. What did you actually press?\u201d She shrugged. \u201cI just called the phone from my landline until I heard it ring!\u201d Turns out, she\u2019d invented her own \u201cfinder\u201d app\u2014just the old-fashioned way.<\/p>\n
The Mysterious Chef
\nA man boasted to his friends that his wife was a gourmet chef who could whip up any cuisine in minutes. One evening, he came home to a feast that smelled absolutely heavenly. He found her in the kitchen with pots and pans everywhere. \u201cWow, you really went all out,\u201d he said. She gave him a sweet smile and replied, \u201cYes, I tried four new recipes tonight!\u201d Curious, he asked, \u201cWhat are they?\u201d She sighed, \u201cI have no idea. I just tossed the cookbooks aside when I realized they were in French. So\u2026 we\u2019re calling it \u2018International Surprise.\u2019\u201d Turns out, the meal was delicious\u2014but she couldn\u2019t replicate it to save her life.<\/p>\n
The Overenthusiastic Fitness Tracker
\nSarah wore her new fitness tracker to bed, determined to measure every step, heartbeat, and calorie burned. She woke up the next morning, checked her data, and nearly screamed. It said she had taken 8,000 steps during the night! Worried she might be sleepwalking, she set up a camera. The next night, the same thing happened, but the footage showed her cat batting at her arm and swiping the tracker around while Sarah snored. The next day, Sarah told everyone, \u201cMy cat is the most active member of this household\u2014and apparently, he logs better \u2018steps\u2019 than I do!\u201d<\/p>\n
The Wrong Gift Card
\nMark was notorious for last-minute gifts. On his wife\u2019s birthday, he grabbed a gift card from the junk drawer, put it in a fancy envelope, and handed it to her with a flourish. She opened it and blinked. \u201cHoney, why did you give me a gift card for the local pet store? We don\u2019t even have a pet!\u201d He smacked his forehead. \u201cThat\u2019s weird\u2014I thought it was the spa voucher.\u201d Turns out the dog groomer\u2019s store logo looked suspiciously like the day spa\u2019s. She decided to keep it anyway, joking that maybe she\u2019d get her hair done at the dog groomer\u2019s if times got tough.<\/p>\n
Little Sister\u2019s Math Genius
\nA father was proud of his teenage daughter for always acing her math tests. He bragged about how she could do advanced algebra in her head. One day, he asked her to calculate the tip at a restaurant. She stared at the check for a full minute, then said, \u201cI don\u2019t know how to do that without a formula.\u201d Confused, he said, \u201cJust do ten percent times two, roughly!\u201d She frowned. \u201cDad, I only know how to do polynomials and quadratics. Tipping is\u2026 complicated.\u201d She ended up rounding the number, paying five dollars extra. \u201cAlgebra is easy,\u201d she quipped, \u201cReal life is harder.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A man asked his wife what she\u2019d like for her 40th birthday. I\u2019d love to be six again,\u201d she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":819,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/timeshow.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/818","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/timeshow.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/timeshow.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timeshow.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timeshow.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=818"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/timeshow.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/818\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":820,"href":"https:\/\/timeshow.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/818\/revisions\/820"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timeshow.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/819"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/timeshow.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=818"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timeshow.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=818"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timeshow.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=818"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}